We're All Children at Night
by maddywashere
Summary: Castiel's dreary life comes to a halt when he becomes infatuated with a man named Dean. AU
1. Chapter 1 A Day in the Life

Initially, Castiel felt puzzled when it first began to dawn on him. Not so much as a quick processed idea but perhaps much like a subconscious feeling embedded deep inside a secluded area of his brain. Whatever it was but for some unknown reason his heart would beat frantically on upon seeing his co worker glide into the room in his usual manner. He understood that this sort of subject matter could not be brought up with anyone else but himself, so he kept his small talk with a fellow worker to small things such as the weather or how their wives were doing. As he listened to him talk about how his shower wouldn't work properly in the mornings he tried not to glance at the curious man, who was now no longer in eye corner view, but found himself looking around the room for him anyway.

"So I think I'm going to...are you okay?"

Castiel turned his head back to face him with wide confused eyes because he wasn't suspecting anyone to catch an act he didn't even intend on doing. In a breathless sort of way he nodded and said, "Yeah...Yeah I'm just hungry because I skipped breakfast this morning."

"Well our lunch break starts about now, so..."

"Oh...good timing on my account I presume." Castiel said in a monotone voice. Andrew blinked a few times and was reminded that Castiel was a bit odd and that was the reason why they never talked during high school.

Castiel nibbled at his sandwich long after Andrew left for home. It wasn't that he was a slow eater, it was just that he'd rather work late tonight then go home to his nosy, pushy wife. He shut his eyes and focused on that small flavor he's had for almost every lunch now. Castiel was almost meditating the way he was trying to relax. When he opened his eyes he was expecting the room to be quiet, empty, even desolate; and that's exactly what he got. Of course the reality of the situation was even more so than what his brain supposed it to be.

The rest of the night spent at his work consisted of trudging past coffee makers and computers to his car in a zombie like manner. When Castiel arrived home he carelessly threw off his jacket and stripped into his boxers. He fell in the velvet sheets of his bed and sighed into the flat pillow. The scent of perfume brought his mind into happier times of the past where he could smell his wife's all the time, almost like his own special gift, but he knew that she was wearing it for someone else now. He felt the bed move when she shifted slightly under the sheets and bed spread. He fixed his eyes onto her face and drank in the image. When she looked this peaceful by his side, so warm and tender-faced, was when it really hit him. He tried to suppress the tear that threatened to fall down his cheek. He looked up as if forcing it to go back down with gravity but found himself looking through the large window across the room instead. He wondered about what other people in the world were doing at the very moment including men similar to his grievable situation.

* * *

Castiel caught himself staring at the stranger again, this time in an obvious manner. He cursed and felt his emotions go from curious to scared and worried. He began doing equations in his head that were not possible to solve in order to meditate. He needed to relax. For his wife, for his job, for his mental stability. Instead of breaking his thought processes and succeed into a mediative state, he began focusing on his blue lit work on a lonely smudged screen and thought back to a memory that held no utmost importance to his life.

There, Castiel had sat beside a pond at the tender age of seven and fed the ducks bread. A sentimental feeling slowly drifted into his being and a strange curiosity lingered in the corner of his brain. He wondered what had triggered a memory of this sort, considering he hadn't thought about it for quite a while. He recalled reading about how smell was the sense most linked to memory, but he could't smell anything but old books and coffee. His mind continued to travel in a strange direction as he remembered being called inside for dinner then homework. He couldn't place why exactly there was a sort of negative feeling that lingered like mist. Almost as fast as he questioned he recalled his best friend, Sarah, sitting beside him also feeding the ducks little tidbits of bread. As he walked inside he had turned around to find her body outlined by the sunset smiling a silent farewell. And that's when he placed the significance and what triggered the memory.

Longing


	2. Chapter 2 Businesslike

One day, during a well hidden storm, Castiel decided to have a wide mug of coffee while looking out the crying windows during his break. He couldn't place why such a big storm hadn't been found by the local meteorologists beforehand. He sat quietly as his thoughts orbited his curiosity of the sequences and experiences happening now.

"That's a lot of rain, huh?"

Castiel jumped in a subtle fashion when he heard this. His heart sped for a moment until he became calm and collected. Jumping at the sound of a colleague's voice was not very business-like at all.

"Yes, I've been watching the scene beyond the windows for quite some time now." This man was the same man he's been thinking unhealthy thoughts about and mindlessly fretting over. Castiel couldn't help but give him a quick once over. The man was watching the outdoors with concern and there was a slight sense of anger on his face. Castiel, having nothing else to say, focused his attention on the wide set window again and fidgeted with his clothing along his thigh to release his new found stress.

"Do you think it will flood on center street?"

"...I suppose it would...considering the weather."

"Shit." he cursed under his breath but not faint enough as Castiel barely heard.

"I guess you'll have to stay late then." Castiel smiled and tried to attempt his statement as a joke but his voice sounded so bland that his smile disappeared and he felt a bit upset because he could never get people to smile. He was wrong. The man smiled bitterly to himself. Castiel felt a pang of anxiety from feeling their first conversation being painfully boring with a slight feeling of hidden thoughts from the other party.

"I was already asked to anyway."

"We could work together considering that our boss asked me to stay as well." for some odd reason the man looked uncomfortable at this.

"It's fine I'm going to be working in the filing unit anyway." It seemed like he was about to leave so Castiel stood up and offered a hand.

"I'm Castiel by the way." he said with a small smile.

The man hesitantly took his hand and they shook. "Dean...I'll see you around."

Dean


	3. Chapter 3 The Inevitable Moment

1:00 am and the weather was still quite boisterous. Sometimes Castiel would be startled at the loud booms of thunder, but he quickly composed himself each time. The large shadows about the spacey room didn't bother him in the slightest even though it would have scared him a great deal when he was a child. He typed and typed at his computer and wondered when the storm was going to stop. Although he felt the coming of the rise of bigger issues due to a strange and unnerving sound that continued to repeat itself, he kept his excitement low. It sounded like a bizarre form a breathing, either from a machine or a living thing.

The strange noise soon got the best of him and so he found himself stalking quietly in the shadows looking for the source of the noise, a long stapler in hand. Castiel pondered the considerable outcomes. Such as his source of fear being that of a machine of some sort that someone accidentally left on before driving back home. In which case he would be very disappointed and embarrassed at himself. Or perhaps, taking the matter in a darker sort of light, that this noise was coming from a monster. Like any from the movie "Silent Hill". Castiel shuddered at the thought and pushed it away, remembering for a second how his friend Gabe had forced him to watch it one night and how he couldn't sleep for days let alone use public bathrooms in fear of the ghastly janitor.

As he came closer and the noise got louder he found that the cubicle he was approaching held whatever it was that was making the noise. Castiel felt silly as he pressed himself against the wall, preparing himself to jump into view with the stapler pointing at his target like some sort of action hero facing an enemy. Instead of doing so, the state of fear caught his reflexes and weakened them to such a dull point that he poked his head cautiously around the corner instead. What he saw both relaxed and surprised him.

There, under the desk and between a wheeled chair and a trash can, was none other than Dean. He breathed in and out, filling a brown paper bag with air and sucking it back all in like a frog and it's balloon-like throat. When he spotted Castiel he stopped abruptly and there was a long pause consisted of staring with wide eyes and a few questioning looks. Castiel relaxed his muscles and lowered the hand that held the stapler.

"…Dean?"

"Fuck." He managed to say between trembling lips.

"Should I...call someone?" Once the sentence was released from Castiel he couldn't help but wonder why he said that of all things. Who would he call? The ambulance? He didn't look like he was in serious danger. The only danger that Castiel could foresee was a heart attack but he seemed okay for now. The only thing out of normal was his heaving chest and, well, him being on the floor in a state of panic. Castiel put two and two together when he recalled his last conversation with him. He did look uncomfortable when he asked if it was flooding on a road. Which Castiel guessed was where his home was located or else he wouldn't be here. And he also hesitated when Castiel had assumed they could work together for the sake of company. Perhaps this man was ashamed of his fear for storms or loud noises. Castiel recalled a moment of panic he had had a while ago. He had looked for comfort and it was all fine then. A sort of friendly wave washed upon him suddenly. He felt the sudden urge to make it all better for this man.

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Look…I'm fine." The man got up and dusted himself off trying to look as confident as he could but Castiel noticed his unexpected shyness that dwelled in his eyes when he didn't make eye contact as he spoke. "I just got a little spooked is all. No big deal."

Castiel wasn't convinced as he stared at him with confused eyes when Dean finally made eye contact. It almost seemed like there was a spotlight on them both. The lamp on his desk being the only light that was on in the room. There was an eerie feeling that made him think there was an audience in the darkness that was waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to break the glass. A thick blanket of suspense fell upon the room; unfamiliar and odd. Were they sharing some sort of a moment? Castiel didn't know. A sudden bolt of lightning luminated half of the room, lighting Dean's left side of his body and capturing a picture of a confident man in Castiel's mind, unlike the wide eyed and vulnerable man before. It was as if at that very moment his brain took a mental picture to store for safe keeping. And even more fascinating the moment of confidence lasted for about a half of a second before turning into the same fear as before. That was a bright flash of lightening, the thunder to follow it will most likely be the loudest of tonight. And by the new look on his face Castiel could tell he guessed the same as well.

Both men's assumptions were correct. The huge boom of thunder startled both of them but not as much as it startled Dean. He violently flinched and it hurt to see such a tortured soul try to remain his true fearless self in the eyes of Castiel. He absently took a few steps toward Dean and reached out in fear of the other collapsing right in front of him. Castiel looked at him in sincerity.

"Are you sure you're all right?" His voice was soft and devout at the same time.

It took a few ragged breaths before Dean could reply. He fell back into his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He blew a breath full of air out of his system and laughed in a carefree manner. And just like that it was all just a big nothing. "It's fine, stop worrying man. Why don't we get back to work?"

Castiel shifted in his spot and cocked his head slightly. He tried to read the real expression on Dean's face but couldn't. Instead he pulled up a chair and sat next to him. He could still detect a faint fear in his eyes so he decided to stay with him for comfort. Due to the sequences before Castiel learned that the other man would probably never ask for him to stay and is probably already embarrassed and ashamed of himself for reacting in a way in front of an acquaintance. Dean didn't protest as Castiel logged onto the computer beside him


	4. Chapter 4 A Heterosexual Admiration

A night after The Inevitable Moment, Castiel lay drearily awake and cushioned in the mattress beside his sleeping wife. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn't stop thinking about the strange feelings he got around that man. The curious moment they had shared. Maybe no one but himself had ever seen Dean like that before. He couldn't help but wonder why this man kept appearing in his thoughts when he tried to work and sleep.

He peered over at his wife and wondered if she thought a lot about the unknown man that spent time with her while he was at work. A tight, numb sadness tried to break through the barrier of his mind but failed to when he stopped thinking about the affair and let it rot in a desolate part of his mind. Perhaps if he searched deep inside his subconscious he could find the answer. Castiel shut his eyes and concentrated on the center of his forehead.

After asking himself a series of questions he decided that the reason why Dean frequented his mind so many times was because he felt an attraction towards him. An attraction to become a good friend of his. He seemed to be enjoyable to share company with, also having features he could admire. Yes, that was it. He felt a feeling of satisfaction wash over him as he slowly fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning at work while listening the same fellow worker as before talk, Castiel spotted Dean and wondered if he could talk to him without things being awkward. He was wrong. After finishing a report he walked up to Dean and tried to form a small hello but instead shyed away without even getting noticed. He wanted to hit his head on his desk. He was acting like a shy, small school girl trying to muster up the courage to talk to a crush. He decided to work on a report until his shame faded.

Once Castiel had time to think he acted upon a clever idea he could muster up. He casually strolled over to where Dean was typing away. He noticed a short glance he was given before Dean pretended he didn't see him. When he stopped beside his desk he cleared his throat. Now that he had a conversation in mind it didn't seem so bad. Dean stopped typing and looked up at him.

"Did you get home safely the other night?" Castiel gave him a small, polite smile and waited for an answer.

"Yeah, my house wasn't flooded like I'd thought."

Castiel didn't like his tone. He seemed too formal…too business like. But then again what was he expecting? They were merely acquaintances. "That's great." Oh no. What's he supposed to do now? Continue the conversation or just leave? If he were to continue it then he would probably bother Dean but if he were to walk away then this moment might not come again. Castiel decided to turn and go back to his desk. He would probably get another chance anyway.

The chance came again when he spotted Dean sitting alone during his lunch break after a couple of days eating a burger. It was almost the end of the day so why not?

He strided over to the table and asked, "Is this seat occupied?"

Dean paused to simply look at him for a moment causing Castiel to shift slightly until replying, "No, go ahead." He happily obliged and took out his sandwich and apple sauce. He liked the way Dean looked. Now that it wasn't completely dark and they faced each other he could see the details in his face. He had a certain atmosphere around him that suggested he was humorous or social. His features were that of a Greek god and he made Castiel want to observe him more often. Castiel looked back down at his food when he realized he was staring. As he took a bite out of his sandwich he began to sense the awkward silence that covered the moment. "So…"

Castiel always disliked when people filled the silence with that word but he felt unaffected at the moment considering that Dean was like a knight in shining armor in his eyes.

The day ended.


	5. Chapter 5 Protective Brother

Dean began sitting with Castiel more often (even after a few awkward moments the two really began to lighten up to each other) and that made the day seem more interesting and the future looking socially plausible. They talked of everything that popped in their heads although neither mentioned The Inevitable Moment. Everyday more conversations and everyday more fuel to their friendship, leaving an overly content Castiel.

"What's with your smile? Did you win the lottery?" His wife once glumly asked after he came home from work.

He dropped his smile, "Was I…smiling?" she nodded and sipped her tea. "Have you ever had a best friend?"

Now she was curious. Anyone's curiosity would spike after finding their husbands smiling and unusually happy and mentioning a best friend. "…Yes." she made a point to give him a questioning look. "Why?"

"Do you suppose that friendship creates a false security during the time in which they know and socialize with you up until they walk away from your life and never have the care of looking back?"

She didn't reply but made a mental note to watch him more often.

* * *

"So your residence is around center street? That's fairly far from here."

"It takes a while for me to get here, yeah." Dean offered a small chuckle. "The pay's good enough though so it doesn't matter that I have to wake my ass up at 5 in the morning."

Castiel laughed at this. "That's why I live close. I hardly like waking up that early."

"Night owl?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know the figure of speech for people who-"

Castiel looked confused. "I don't understand that reference."

"Oh never mind." He swatted away the issue with his hand and after a moment a very tall man walked up to their table and bent over to talk to Dean. His voice was low and stern.

"You need to go straight home after work, you hear me? I better not find you-" Dean motioned his head in Castiel's direction and suddenly looked embarrassed. The tall man looked at Castiel as if just noticing him. He smiled and said, "Are you a friend of his?" Castiel froze. He wanted to say yes but he didn't quite know if telling someone they were friends was too soon in the relationship. It was definitely not but he still felt being the first to 'seal the deal' was difficult.

"Yeah, we're friends, this is Castiel." He sighed in relief knowing he didn't have to be in that uncomfortable position anymore.

The tall man made eye contact with Castiel. "Nice to meet you Castiel I'm Sam, his brother." Just as Castiel was about to reply Sam looked back at Dean and said, "Maybe you should have him over tonight instead, huh?" Sam looked at Dean with a cross between concerned and sincere eyes while Dean stared at his food with an expression saying that he wanted to be anywhere but here. Sam gave him an awkward pat on the back and left and Castiel didn't know what to make of the situation.

After a few moments Dean shook his head angrily and said, "My brother needs to can it sometimes."


	6. Chapter 6 Supermassive Black Hole

After work that day Dean walked with Castiel outside to the nearly deserted parking lot.

"It's pretty late…" Dean most likely said to himself.

"What was that your brother was talking to you about?"

"My brother? Oh, you know…"

Castiel continued to stare, waiting patiently for an answer.

"He thinks I…work too much…" Dean said slowly, as if questioning the statement. Castiel cocked his head in confusion. Dean always left work any chance he could get. In fact, this was the second time Castiel had seen him work over time. He had look frustrated as they worked side by side on the computers at the start of night. He almost looked inpatient. Putting aside the fact that his impatience could mean he wanted to leave work, perhaps he had stayed in order to spend more time with Castiel. His spirits curiously rose and he began to question the feeling as soon as it appeared. No, that most defiantly was not the case. He decided to humor him.

"I see…"

"Um," Dean cleared his throat and laughed with discomfort.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, it's just that I'm usually asking girls this." he laughed more casually. "So do you want to hang out tonight? I mean since tomorrow everyone has the day off." he scratched the back of his neck and Castiel could sense more discomfort. "If you're not busy."

"You usually ask girls this?"

"Well yeah. I mean a completely different hang out from what I'm asking you but…" He paused. "Don't you?"

"If you're referring to sex then no, because I'm married."

"Married?" Dean looked shocked. "How old are you?"

"26"

"Seriously? That's the same age as me. Holy shit, you're married?"

"Yes, as I have said. Why is that such a shock?"

"It's just I can't imagine being married right now. It's just…wow."

Castiel felt slightly annoyed. "I don't have any plans early tomorrow so yes. I can spend time with you tonight."

"Alright, good." Dean sighed in relief. Castiel thought this was strange. It looked like a relief that was far more great than the relief of a friend agreeing to come over. Almost like a relief one would have after finding out one actually didn't have to finish a 10 page essay over quantum physics. He recalled Dean and his brother's conversation.

"We should take your car. I wouldn't want you driving all the way back here from so far a location. Considering that your house is around center street." before Dean could reply, Castiel began speaking again. "Actually, it seems I have over looked a more sufficient possibility. We could use both of our cars and drive to my house. Here's my address."

"Uh-" was all Dean could reply before Castiel smiled a farewell and got into his car.

* * *

When Dean arrived to the house, which was not long after Castiel did, he took a quick look around the place.

"Are you thirsty? Perhaps I could get you some tea?"

"Tea? What is this Britain?" Dean joked.

"I was merely asking-"

"I'm fine Castiel." Dean rolled his eyes and Castiel wondered if he said something wrong. Both men felt the silence consume the room and Dean wondered why he was doing this in the first place. "So…do you follow baseball? Pretty exciting season, am I right?"

"I don't particularly have a taste for sports…"

"Oh." Again, silence. "What do you usually do then when you're off work then?"

"Read…write…anything that comes to mind that I feel like doing. You're telling me that's all you do on your free time? Watch baseball?"

"Well when it's in season."

"Right…" This was very awkward for both of them. During work it was easy to start a conversation and even easier to have fun with it. But now they were at a loss in a new place together, new scenery.

"What kind of books do you read?" Suddenly, Castiel's mood changed drastically. He noticeably perked up and his eyes glazed over with determination and excitement.

"You're asking what I read?" Dean nodded in response slowly, as if he was afraid of asking again. "Follow me."

* * *

The 'library' was in a very small room beside the dining room. A few bookcases was all it could hold along with a chair and space to sit on the floor. The atmosphere of it was comfortable even though it was clustered with various books and objects. Castiel delicately slid out a book from a bookshelf as if not wanting to hurt it, but Dean could see that it was the fattest book that he'd ever seen.

"This is my project for the year."

"'Everything Needed for Understanding the Universe'?"

"Yes, although it most certainly does not have everything. There are only a few chapters worth of information about the birth and life a black hole. It's a touchy subject, you see. Very controversial. Some people dislike thinking about the different theories a black hole has issued into the minds of brilliant scientists. This author being one of them. But wouldn't that make the whole of science controversial? It clearly is, but that doesn't mean-"

"Woah, woah, woah." Dean put his hands up as if signaling enough. "Slow down, I just wanted to know what you liked to read."

"And I'm telling you."

"More like reading it to me."

"I'm explaining the book from my own opinions and I'm not even finished."

"I'm getting the feeling you rarely get to talk about this stuff."

Castiel sighed. "That pretty much sums up my life right now." Dean laughed at this and Castiel wondered what was so humorous about his pain.

"Okay…well, what sort of theories?"

Castiel cocked his head to ponder. "My favorite theory being that we might actually be living inside a black hole of another universe…or how the singularity of a black hole could be connected with time travel."

"Isn't a black hole that thing in the universe that sucks everything up?" Dean watched Castiel with growing amusement for his crazy side.

"Yes! The same rules apply to measurements in the universe as on Earth, objects still have distance, yes? If a human ever encountered a black hole than whatever part of his or her body is closest to the black hole will get sucked in faster by gravity than the body parts farther away.

"So...it would basically pull you into string?"

"Precisely! It's so dense and it's gravity is so great that it would spaghettify everyone you care for and love!"

"My brother?"

"Everyone!"

"You?"

Castiel dropped his mad smile and gave Dean a questioning gaze.

Dean let out a loud laugh. "That quieted you down for a bit."

"I apologize for my excitement."

"Don't sweat it. That's probably like me and music."

"Perhaps to make up for discomforting you, you can show me the ways of your passion." Castiel was no longer loud and smiling but back to his quiet, tranquil self. Dean could barely suppress his bubbling laugher from Castiel's state and choice of words. He began to idly browse Castiel's books and Castiel felt a growing shyness from seeing Dean gaze upon his prize possessions. This room was basically his, not even his wife would go in here. She found reading to be boring and a waste of her time. Having Dean browse through his selection made him feel excited that he could finally show off his interests to another person but shy from the possibility of judgement.

"'Doctor Zhivago'?"

"Yes, that is an excellent book."

"Huh. I think my mother used to listen to the soundtrack from the movie. Russian, right?"

"Correct."

Dean gazed outside the only window in the room. "Do you know what time it is?"

"It's about 3 A.M."

"Wow, I haven't stayed up looking at books since I was 12."

"We've only been here for a little while."

"Whatever. You know what I mean."

"So about your taste in music…"

"What about it?"

"Is there a particular artist that would be your favorite?"

"Probably…Led Zeppelin. They've always been my favorite." Dean let his eyes stray to the side as if entering a state of nostalgia. Castiel closed the space that was between them and casually opened Dean's jacket. "What?…What are you doing?"

"Like on your shirt?" Castiel placed a hand on his chest where Led Zeppelin was written.

"Um…I forgot I was wearing that today."

Castiel gazed into his eyes. "You can show me some songs sometime if you'd like." They stayed like that for a good moment. Dean being too shocked to move and Castiel being oblivious of the discomfort.

"Uh, hasn't anyone taught you about personal space? Jesus."

The door to the room opened suddenly. "Hey Castiel. What did you have for dinn-" His wife entered the room and she stopped mid sentence after noticing Dean. "Hello." her demeanor changed as she purred the greeting. "Who's this?"

"This is Dean, a friend of mine from work." Castiel said as he stepped from Dean's bubble.

"You must be his wife." Dean tried to smile back. He yawned. "Wow, what time did you say it was? 3? I should be going." Dean buttoned his jacket and headed out the door

* * *

**Hello fellow Supernatural fans! Thank you so much for reading my first story on here! I just want to point out a few things; I know I was so general on Dean's taste in sports. I don't follow them at all so I tried my best. I can relate to so many things about Cas but sadly I can't say the same for Dean. Well other than his taste in music I guess. The book that I mentioned about the universe is just something I made up by the way. Doctor Zhivago is real. Oh and Castiel's wife will never be named. I guess its up to your mind on how she looks. There will be a few clues as to what she looks like though later in the story.**

**Thanks for reading and please review~ I love feedback!**


	7. Chapter 7 Sexual Frusteration

The small bells hitched along the door rang softly, silvery little sounds, as Castiel made his way inside the bookstore.

"Haven't seen you in a while. How's your day?" The shop owner smiled happily.

"I've been busy with work and my day has been going by well, thank you. May I borrow the ladder?"

"Go ahead, it's around the corner."

As Castiel stood at the very top of the bookshelf ladder he browsed by softly pushing a book aside and examining the title and once in a while the description. He pulled out a slim, navy blue book to examine that was smooth to the touch. As he read the title he almost about dropped it when his cell phone began to ring. He felt disappointed in himself thinking that he didn't set it to vibrate, especially when people were trying to read.

"Hello."

"Hey, it's Dean."

"I know."

"I was wondering if we could meet up somewhere."

"Well, I am at a bookstore. You could meet me at the one beside Dodge street."

"Surprise." Castiel almost had a heart attack at the sound of Dean's voice. It sounded like he was exactly right behind him. He cautiously turned his head and looked towards the ground to find Dean standing below him. "I thought I saw you from outside but I wasn't sure so I called you." He smiled.

"You could've asked."

"Well what if it wasn't you?" Castiel didn't answer as he climbed down the latter to meet with him.

"What is it that you wish of me?"

Dean ignored him and saw the navy blue book by his side. "What do you have there?" He asked as he reached for it and Castiel briskly held it out of reach. It was a book about stars and he still felt rather embarrassed about the time he started going off about the universe as if that very subject triggered him into someone else.

Dean gave him an inquisitive look. "Is it some kind of porn?"

"Of course not."

"Then why can't I see it."

"It's not that that you can't see it…here." He opened it up for both of them and flipped through the pages. "Its a book about the stars."

"Hey isn't that your name?"

"Where are you referring to?"

"Here." Dean pointed at a paragraph about the names of stars.

"Castiel. Huh, I never would have guessed there was a star that shared the same name as me."

"It says they shortened the following names to three letters including yours."

"Three letters? Then would that be...Cas?" they paused momentarily to think about the shortened version.

"That would be a better name than Castiel." Dean teased. "Castiel sounds like the name of a douchebag."

Castiel frowned. "Are you being serious, Dean Winchester? My name is centuries old and my parents would like to believe that it originated from the angel of thursday. My family has always treasured the name with honor and respect."

"Cas..." he said slowly, feeling the word come out of his lips, tasting it for the first time. "I don't know I still like that way better than the one you have now."

Castiel's jaw dropped slightly in disbelief. "You must never call me that dreadful nickname under any circumstances. Refer to me as you always have."

"Sure thing, Cas."

"What were you doing in the area anyway?" He said, seemingly frustrated.

"I was going to buy more inc for my printer." He sighed. "I have a huge financial report to write for this company and its taking all day. I was going to ask you to help me with it since you seem to get things done in a flash. Or at least give me a few pointers, you know, whatever helps."

"Pointers? Maybe like telling you all reports shouldn't be submitted until a few months from now."

"What? How come no one told me this?"

"No one should. It's in the requirements that we should check on the employee section of the website at least once every three days."

"Holy shit yes." Dean sighed in relief. "I don't have to do it yet."

"Well I wouldn't procrastinate…"

"This is great. A huge weight just came off my shoulders." Castiel was reminded about how he usually procrastinated when he was in high school making him compare Dean to a high school student. There was barely anything different other than age. "Hey, since I don't need to be doing anything, why don't we go over to my house?"

"Okay, let me buy this book first."

* * *

Once they arrived Castiel noted that his house was cleaner than he expected.

"Do you want something to eat or…drink maybe?"

"I'll get something from your refrigerator, thank you."

When he got out a can of coke and a glass full of ice and as he was about to pour the cold drink he turned to find Dean coming towards him. "Let me at least pour it." He reached behind Castiel to grab the glass and drink from him. His breathing stopped and his heart skipped a beat from Dean being close enough to touch without extending an arm. He was so engrossed in the state Dean had him in he tipped the drink before handing it to Dean making some spill on his shirt.

"I'm so sorry. How careless of me. Let me get a wet rag."

"No harm done. I was going to change into something more comfortable anyway." Dean poured the rest of the drink and went into the other room to find a change of clothes.

That was something extremely rare for Castiel to spill something like that. And on another person. He needed to calm down and stop reacting in such a way when Dean was so close and when he smelled so enticing.

"Hey Cassie."

Castiel crept closer to the edge of the door to put his ear on it in order to hear better. He wished Dean would stop using these awful nicknames. "What is it?"

"I was wondering if we could hang out sometime..."

"Isn't that what we're doing?"

"…You know…go to a bar somewhere out of town…"

"I don't think I'd like to go to a bar. Perhaps a different recreation?"

"What are you 4? It'll be fun. You, me, alcohol…"

"I-"

"Who cares what my brother thinks. He can worry about his own problems."

"What? I wasn't-"

"And I could easily book a hotel room to go to afterwards." Dean suddenly purred.

Castiel just about stopped breathing. "A hotel room…"

"You won't be able to walk after I'm done with you."

Castiel felt himself grow hot.

"No? Just think about it. Wouldn't it be nice to be friends with benefits?"

"Friends with benefits…" He whispered softly.

"Okay…Call me later…bye." A beep sound was heard followed by the shuffling of clothes as if a shirt was being pulled over his head. It was a call. To another person. And he was replying to it. Castiel quickly ran back to the couch and wanted to sink in the cushions and die there. At least Dean didn't hear him.

Castiel made up an excuse to go home after Dean came back out in new clothes. Dean noticed he left as fast as he could and forgot his jacket hanging over the railing to the basement


	8. Chapter 8 Suspicious Stranger

Thinking nothing of the state of flushed anxiety Castiel was in when he left, Dean returned his jacket the following night and began to drive to Walmart for a dissatisfying microwave dinner. On the way he noticed a bar that he'd never seen before in the area. It looked like all the rest of the bars in his city; lonely and slightly dirty with a neon light on the outside that barely presented the name in a flickering glow. A spark of a memory started in his brain probably triggered by the sight. He remembered seeing Sam standing in his doorway on a night similar to the present with a sullen, disappointed face. At that point, from Dean's point of view, Sam had been blurry and tilting, almost like a barely hit bowling pin. He had tried to clumsily get up to greet his brother normally but managed to fall again. Dean massaged his temple and then shook his head to avoid the memory. Dean decided to just check it out for a few minutes.

* * *

Dean looked around the place, soaking in the dull scenery. He sat at the bar beside a man who's back was facing him and eyed the bartender. He was dressed nicely in bartender uniform and looked surprisingly chipper, which somewhat confused Dean due to the depressing atmosphere of it all, as he washed glass after glass. A woman in a casual brown dress sat beside him.

"You look like you have an interesting aura and future about you." She cocked an eyebrow playfully when he looked at her.

"Excuse me?" He gave her a quick once over. She was cute but what the hell did she just say?

"You're aura…and your future…very…" she paused to think of the right word "Inquisitive!" she perked up.

"Thanks…" Dean replied with that dreadfully simple word because what kind of pick-up line could work with that? 'I can see where your future lies if you stick with me?' he scoffed in his head. When did a girl at a cheap bar even use words like that anyway? He didn't know what else to say other than something to do with this odd subject.

**"**Well aren't you curious for your reading?" She giggled lightly but as if her statement was only half joking.

"So what, is this some gypsy role playing stuff you got going on?" Dean smirked. He was still confused as to if she was being serious or not. Dean succumbed to his thirst for alcohol and bought two for him and his newfound acquaintance.

"Give me your palm." She smiled at him after taking a sip of her first drink and after Dean gulped his next cup out of the countless ones he'd been ordering.

"Huh? What for?" Her smiled looked very disfigured at this point.

"The reading." Dean groggily lifted a hand for her and began to feel a slight gnawing worry for her sanity. "Now concentrate for me." Dean decided to humor her and closed his eyes as she did also. Besides, this was becoming more and more normal by the moment as the drinks settled in his system. She began to say something but Dean couldn't make it out as his senses were dull. Her voice was thick like liquor and her hands were smooth as she caressed his face. Despite his dizzy vision, when he opened his eyes again she looked radiant as the neon light from outside draped her features with gold. She was the Temptress herself, holding him so close and passing over another drink. Dean did catch one thing out of everything she said before he passed out. She brought her glossy lips to his ear and whispered, "…a new member of the family will come sooner than you think."


	9. Chapter 9 Unwanted Advances

Waking up with a throbbing head at a bar was very disorienting for Dean, especially having had no dinner the following night and with work tomorrow. He brought his head up in a daze from his arms to look around the room. It was definitely in the early morning and Dean wondered why the hell he was left sleeping there.

"Sorry, you just looked really peaceful." The bartender said as if answering his thoughts. Dean looked to the direction of the voice and didn't reply. He stretched his limbs and headed out the door. Driving back home, he retraced what had happened. So there he was, suddenly a girl sits beside him and starts blabbing out nonsense, then he ordered drinks for himself and her. He had no memory of what she looked like but remembered her wanting to mess with his palm. What the hell did she want with his palm?

"Oh, the psychic chick." He said in realization to himself. She said something about a new member in his family? He laughed to himself. "What the fuck."

* * *

"You know I never wanted this job." Castiel said quietly as they drove on to work in the early morning.

"I don't think anybody does, Cas." Dean chuckled. Castiel ignored the nickname.

"I suppose…"

"Was there something else you wanted to be?"

"Teaching always peaked my interests. Sharing valuable information to another person seems very satisfying in a way."

"Like…little kids?" Dean tried to imagine Castiel teaching a bunch of six year olds but he could only see him boring the hell out of them.

"No, I was thinking adults…perhaps a professor. What do you think?"

"No offense, but that sounds awful. Teaching people who don't even want to be there? _All_ day?" He made a gagging noise.

"What did you dream about when you were young?"

"That was when you were young? What kind of childhood were you living?"

"My childhood was very long and dreary." Castiel sighed glumly.

Dean tried to ignore the sudden sad mood that he unintentionally created. "I guess I wanted to be…a police officer." Castiel looked at him and imagined Dean in uniform, looking heroic and holding a gun. "Still do. In fact I thought about applying but Sam told me he asked his police officer friend if there were any openings. Nope. Our economy is too damn bad for another police officer."

"If they decided to hire in a few months would you apply?"

"Truth is…I don't know." They both sat quietly in thought for the next fifteen minutes.

When they arrived at work they were called in for a meeting with about ten others who were working at the same level and on the same projects.

"I'm sorry I didn't email you all earlier or have this up on our website, but we have a huge issue to solve here that suddenly…came upon us." A woman with a tight bun and a tulip skirt said as she stood at the end of the long table in which everybody was seated. She massaged her temple as if in stress and passed out papers to everyone. "Basically the consultents that are supposed to travel to this destination are elsewhere in the United States. It seems we are as busy as ever these days." She laughed, but it was off and joyless in a way. "So I'm asking you all to merely take their places during this short time. Now hold on-questions later, okay? Look, I know none of you have very much experience in this field of work. I get that! I'm not asking you to do anything beyond what you know. In fact, I feel this will be really easy and fun if we do this the right way. You all need to…represent our company throughout the week in a nearby building from the Marriott hotel you'll be staying at. You need to look your best so ladies pack nice skirts and gentleman please bring a nice suit. Our competing company will be there and the managers here want to make a small…deal with them. You don't have to worry about that. Just work on the computers they will have for you and make polite conversation if you have to. Don't stick around too late. And to apologize for this sudden trip the stock holders and I have decided to extend it and use our points for the flight, hotel, and food there. You can also bring your family if you wish. Oh and are there any willing individuals that can share a room? That would help so much!" She looked around the room expectantly with a small fake smile on her face. After no one volunteered her smile began to fade.

"…We can share a room." Dean gestured at Castiel who was sitting beside him. Castiel looked at Dean and nodded.

Her smile returned to a dreadfully big one and she clapped. "Oh, how wonderful. Let me get out a pen." She rummaged through a small bag. "So what are your names?"

"Dean Winchester."

"Castiel Novak."

She scribbled down their names. "Okay, so you two will be sharing a room. Any one else?" When no one else volunteered she began to speak again. "Other information about transportation and location are on the paper I gave to you all. Any questions?"

Castiel didn't listen to the questions being asked as he pictured the hotel room. Dean would be there with him. He shivered with excitement but felt a nervous twitch in his stomach when he thought about sleeping. He'd never been in a hotel before and wondered if they had to share a bed together. That was definitely out of his comfort zone. Dean was the only man in his life that made him feel certain things that he didn't understand.

Dean made Castiel jump a little when he leaned over to whisper, "Shit, did you want to bring your wife? We could just get a room separately if thats the case."

"No." Castiel whispered almost too quickly. "She's busy with such matters on her own accord." Dean nodded.

A sudden blunt idea popped in his head but he tried to get rid of it just as it came. Dean was most certainly the ruin of him.


	10. Chapter 10 The First Night

"Denver, huh?" Dean said as they sat aboard the flight of a small airplane.

"Yes." Castiel replied even though it was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

"What is there to do in Denver? I mean when we don't need to work?"

"Sight seeing is always a must. I'm sure there are many attractions." Castiel noticed the nervous way Dean was gripping onto the arm rester. The loud buzz that had been going on for a while seemed to accelerate as the plane moved once more and started to rocket through the correct road. Dean's grip tightened even more as the plane gradually left the ground and continued higher.

"Are you afraid of heights? Would you like me to shut the window?"

"I'm not afraid of- look, it's been a while alright?"

A short while after the beep that signaled permitted accessibility to electronics went off the first signs of slight turbulence appeared. The plane gently rocked making Dean tense again. Since the seats were close together Castiel felt him causing his curiosity to grow.

"Are you always this tense during a flight?"

"I'm fine."

"Hardly. I felt your muscles go rigid when the plane first shook. Is that it? The turbulence?"

"Dude, shut up."

"That's perfectly normal, Dean. Turbulence is an unfamiliar occurrence during a flight. It's spontaneous and rather annoying. But usually the cause is only harmless wind so there's nothing to fear." The plane shook again but this time with more force and distance making Dean's arms slam back down on the resters. "Shall I console you again?" Dean rolled his eyes and didn't answer as he took out his headphones and put them on.

The rest of the flight proved rather boring for both of them. Dean listened to his music and Castiel sat quietly in his thoughts. A few more times turbulence occurred but they were minor and it was the same reflexes from Dean as before. They both felt considerably hungry but the only thing the flight attendant handed them were cookies and a drink (Castiel had given Dean his cookies) and had the feeling they wouldn't get a proper meal until late at night.

When they finally arrived to the hotel they were impressed to see it was fairly large and close to the building in which they had to work so they didn't have to rent a car or call for a taxi.

"Wow…this actually might be worth it." Dean said as he looked around the inside of the hotel while waiting in line to check themselves in.

"I suppose…it's nice to be away from home."

"I hear you. I've been stuck in that town ever since I can remember."

When they arrived to their room at about midnight, room 707, they didn't even care to undress and change into sleep wear, instead they collapsed on their own bed and fell asleep right away.


	11. Chapter 11 What, No Breakfast?

Castiel was awaken from the blinding sunlight since they never closed the blinds let alone did anything else when they first reached their hotel room on the seventh floor. He lazily pulled the comforter over his eyes and tried to get back to sleep. Remembering his situation after seeing a snoozing Dean on the other bed he jumped up, suddenly wide awake. They never set an alarm clock. Castiel whipped his head to the side in order to see the time on the shared bedside table's clock. It was 6:46 meaning they had only a little time to get ready for the day and walk there. The paper had said they needed to be their around 7:00. He ran over to Dean's side and shook him by the shoulders.

"Dean…Dean…" Dean awoke with a start. He stared at Castiel in confusion until he himself remembered and jumped up.

"Shit, don't tell me we're late." He scramble out of bed taking a sheet with him that was caught around his leg.

"We won't be if we rush." They both bolted for the bathroom and arrived at the same time, their hands both on the knob. When this happened they looked up at the other. "Dean…maybe I should use it first."

"What makes you so special?"

"I'm not stating my name above yours, I just think…" Having a loss of words for his argument he tried to open the door but found he couldn't as Dean was as well. They both pushed their way into the bathroom and sighed in defeat when neither budged.

"Let's just use the bathroom over there."

"Good idea." Instead, they brushed their teeth side by side. Dean attempted to pull on his suit pants with one hand and brushing his teeth with the other but fell instead. Castiel ignored the loud crash as he spit into the sink.

Once they were dressed Dean noticed Castiel having trouble tying his tie so he rushed over to aid him by taking over.

"How long do we have to stay there? I lost my information paper."

"Non stop until about 6:30 PM."

Dean paused in horror. "You mean we don't get a lunch break?"

"I'm afraid not. Although, I did read there will be a bowl of apples for anyone at anytime."

"Apples? Who eats freaking apples for lunch?"

"Calm down. Afterwards we can get a big dinner if you'd like. We'll have to wake up earlier from now on to get a breakfast at the concierge lounge."

"What the hell is a con - never mind."

* * *

The building was rather large but they were only allowed to work on one floor since that was the only floor the company rented. Which was almost more than enough considering the size of each.

When they were seated to a computer side by side Dean glanced around the room. He noticed that a tall man in a dark suit seemed to watch all of them.

He leaned over towards Castiel to whisper. "Why the hell is tall, dark, and scary watching us?"

"They're probably men from the other company." He answered in the same hushed tone.

"There's more?"

"Yes. Can you not see them?" Dean logged onto the computer and launched word. This was going to be a long day.


	12. Chapter 12 Feebly Eyeing

Their first day on the job was incredibly drudging and boring. It couldn't have ended sooner because they were both very hungry and in need of some leisure time.

"You said something about a big dinner, right?" Dean asked as they walked blindly through the city.

"I am in the mood for seafood…"

They walked on in search of a restaurant, particularly one that served seafood, until they stopped in their tracks when they spotted a smiling octopus holding the words 'Under the Sea' on the top of a building.

"I suppose that would be what we're looking for." Castiel said as he stared. Dean looked up to stare at the misshapen octopus as well.

* * *

They both sat at a booth beside a tub full of lobsters observing their menus and occasionally peering at the lobsters.

"Do you think they serve octopus?" Castiel asked as he searched for it on the menu. "I've always wanted to try octopus."

"Duh. There was an octopus on the building."

"That doesn't mean-"

"Hello boys." A waitress stood before them and delicately pulled a pen out from behind her ear. "What can I get for you?"

After they ordered, Castiel being the only one disappointed because this particular restaurant didn't serve octopus, Dean noticed the waitress trying to secretly drag her eyes down his body. He winked when she accidentally made eye contact and she blushed before turning to leave in a hurried and flushed fashion, almost running into a fellow waiter carrying many plates. Castiel had been observing the brief exchange and was about to comment but Dean started talking instead.

"They should really give those lobsters something to do." He motioned his head toward the cage full of lobsters clumsily trying to scramble over one another.

"What exactly would they place in an overrun cage like that?"

"That's another thing. They need to make them feel at home so they should get a bigger cage. Or at least take a few out."

"And why would they do that?"

"Well don't you see? It's like animal abuse."

"I hardly think thats necessary. The lobsters' fate are all irrevocable."

"What do you mean?" Dean looked confused.

Castiel looked at him in disbelief. "You think they're here to be pets?"

"Aren't they?"

"Where do you think they will get the lobster you ordered?"

Dean's face mimicked the essence of realization itself but frowned shortly after. "So I'll be eating one of those guys?"

"Sorry to disappoint you if you felt close to them, but yes." Dean frowned even more and took a sip of his water. After a few moments of contemplating silence Dean thought of another issue.

"What is there to do tonight…" He said softly as if to himself.

"I was thinking we could go back to the hotel and unpack our things since we were too tired to last night."

"Not what I was thinking but that works. I don't want to wait too long to unpack."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking we could call up a few of our colleagues and see what they were doing."

"We can enjoy ourselves tomorrow. I think unpacking our belongings would be good for tonight."

"Unpacking and repacking is the worst." Dean sighed and Castiel didn't reply as they eyed the food that was being placed in front of them. They talked of Denver and the dreaded working hours they had as they ate.

* * *

Castiel was surprised to find chocolates lying on both beds when they arrived to the hotel room. Dean picked up a note that was beside the chocolates and held it between two fingers as he read. It mentioned thanking them for being guests and hoping they had a wonderful stay. Castiel voiced that he felt a small worry gnaw at the back of his head that perhaps the chocolates were left to poison them. Dean looked at him like he was crazy and shrugged as he unwrapped the two rectangular chocolates and savored them despite Castiel's foolish conflict. They threw their heavy suitcases on the bed and rummaged through them, Dean teased Castiel when he saw he had packed a few books.

As Castiel placed the normal bathroom supplies upon the counter of the sink Dean yelled from the other room.

"Can I take a shower yet?"

"I'm almost finished. Didn't you pack any shampoo and conditioner?" He yelled back.

"I didn't need to. Hotels always have some." Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in befuddlement and turned to draw back the shower curtains. He found two miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner sitting on a small shelf in the corner of the shower. He picked one up and turned it in his hands and his expression relaxed as if in awe.

"Dean, come quickly."

Dean rushed into the room. "What is it?"

Castiel presented the bottle. "Is everything in a hotel room small? There is tiny soap and tiny towels as well."

Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Is this what I've been waiting on? Get the hell out." Castiel handed him the bottle and was softly shooed out before Dean closed the door and turned on the hot water to the shower.

As Dean took a shower Castiel neatly folded their clothes and placed Dean's on the left side of the dresser below the television and his own on the right. When Dean came back out Castiel was surprised to find he was still naked with the exception of a white towel around his hips.

"I set some dry clothes for you outside of the bathroom, did you not see?" Castiel couldn't help but let his eyes roam on Dean's toned torso similarly to the waitress from earlier.

"No…thanks I guess." He turned to find them. Castiel ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. He tried to force the image of a mostly naked Dean out of his head but found it hard to do so. He shook his head and crammed the last of the clothes in the drawers instead.


	13. Chapter 13 Flirting

The day so far was a little better than the day before and at least they had set an alarm clock to dress and get ready before going to the concierge lounge in the early morning. After placing scrambled eggs and bacon and whatnot onto their plate, still partially dreary from sleep, they had met with fellow colleagues that had the same idea for breakfast and chatted for a while before taking their last sips of the orange juice and leaving together in a group to work.

Work was just as boring as yesterday although something did make it interesting. During the evening Dean was forced to talk to one of the men from the other company after one sat at a small table fit for two he was occupying while taking a short break to eat an apple. The stranger made him feel uncomfortable and very disappointed he had to actually talk like one of his employers said he would. He really didn't want to but he had no choice so he forced a smile and expressed his love for Denver and how this building had a great atmosphere. He lied about almost everything and his positive attitude, the mask he was forced to wear for the sake of the company, made him feel like he was hiding a huge secret vault of things on his mind he really wanted to say. Even though it was practically torture for Dean they still sat talking and discussing certain issues. He found the man's name was Crowley and he had told Dean that he found him to be a charming and hard working man and those qualities had made him stand out from the other workers. Dean almost felt a sense of pride towards his work but that soon changed as the conversation slowly escalated into something Dean didn't want. He had decided that the conversation turned flirtatious the second Crowley asked him if he had someone waiting for him back at the hotel he was staying at, in which at that very moment Dean's fake smile noticeably weakened.

As they continued their conversation Dean decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and regained his positive posture as before. But Crowley again pulled a few more flirtatious references and Dean decided, yep this was definitely flirting.

When Dean could finally get away he flagged down Castiel and told him what had happened earning an earnest laugh from him. Dean wasn't sure if Castiel understood the confusion and great discomfort that the situation had caused him so he shook an uneasy laugh out of the moment in order to not cause any other problems since Castiel was clearly enjoying himself.

* * *

"I'm sure it was bound to happen someday." Castiel laughed as he walked beside Dean and took a bite out of a red apple.

"I just hope it doesn't happen again." Dean shuddered at the thought.

Castiel composed himself and looked thoughtful after talking another bite. "So we're supposed to meet them beside the abstract statue then…" Castiel suddenly longed to go back to the hotel and chat with Dean and Dean only. He didn't particularly have an interest in getting to know their colleagues at a restaurant.

"Yeah around what people call 'art'."

Once they arrived to the restaurant they noticed every colleague they traveled with was there either sitting outside at a table on the patio or placing food on their plate from the dinner and desert bar (since this part of the establishment was momentarily being rented by the company). Dean automatically helped himself to the food and Castiel followed close behind, secretly skeptical of the others chatting around him.

Castiel found the gathering to be fairly fine as they ate and chatted. He learned that Rick was newly wedded with Sarah since a few months ago, that Jordan worked two jobs, and other information that was useless with the exception of aiding a mediocre conversational starter.

Everything took a turn for the worst when Dean left his side to catch up with someone who was sitting elsewhere. Castiel was left with a single woman his age who he hardly knew. The silence grew long and they both looked around the room or behind their shoulder as if in search of someone to rescue them from their loss of words. As he nibbled on his dinner she commented about two stars that were out. He looked up into the slowly dimming sky and noticed that that wasn't a star at all.

"Forgive me on my correcting but those two dots that appear to be stars are actually not."

"Oh? What else could they be?"

"They are actually planets. Jupiter and Venus if you were curious."

She looked back up at the two shining dots surrounded by the dusky lit sky. "Are you sure? Planets don't shine like that."

He politely explained that in fact they do because they reflect the light from the sun causing them to glow like stars or even brighter. She placed her chin on her hands and listened as he explained further into the subject. He looked so intent, his hand movement usage and fluent words, and so focused on her that she curiously felt special under his gaze so she asked more questions for the sake of his company. He had that sort of demeanor when in this mode of being. He caught the attention of two other women. Peaking their interest to the point that they sat beside him as well, listening and asking questions about any subject having to do with astronomy. They too were pulled under his knowledgable and focused gaze that they began to seek an ulterior motive.

"That was an impressive lecture professor." One of the women teased.

"Thank you. I was getting afraid that I was boring you."

"No, it was very fascinating." Another said.

"I'm pleasantly surprised that you girls have an interest in astronomy." Castiel smiled, he truly was.

One placed a hand on his arm. "I actually find you more interesting." The other two faintly frowned at her sudden advance and started their own conversation.

Castiel tensed and began thinking she wanted something more. "W-what do you mean?"

She gazed into his eyes. "I mean that I think you yourself are far more interesting than any silly old star."

Castiel looked away and thought to himself that he probably wouldn't be in this situation if he had not forgotten his wedding ring. "Speaking of which there seems to be a lot more stars out. Do you know what time it is?"

"It's not late at all if that worries you. I'm in no rush." Her words came out cool and lush and she smiled when he caught her eye causing him to duck his head slightly and look away again. Her behavior triggered him into a memory back in adolescence. There he was, small and alone during a high school dance until a friend had asked him to the dance floor with her. He recalled the smell of her perfume as she tried to take him closer thinking his stunned silence meant yes. He had stammered uncontrollably resulting to her absence from either his stammering or if she had actually understood that he was trying to say he couldn't. And that was exactly what he was doing now. As he tried to make up an excuse to leave and tried to say goodbye he couldn't help but stammer and slur almost all of his words. He got up from the table, almost tripping over the chair, to find Dean. He heard their faint laughter as he found Dean and told him they had to go. His heart was pounding and his hands were shaking. Castiel thought he had changed since high school. In reality he hadn't.


	14. Chapter 14 Night

Castiel held his face in his hands as if doomed to live the rest of his life horribly while Dean sat next to him on the bench.

"So…are you afraid of women then?" Dean asked and Castiel answered back by mumbling something in his hands. "Well now you know how I felt earlier today." He chuckled. "If you get so nervous how did you meet your wife?" Castiel lifted his head to look up at him with tired eyes.

"Perhaps another time." He let out a great sigh and looked to his right past a building as if recalling something. Dean hesitantly placed a hand on his back and said nothing else because he was never good at comforting.

* * *

After a long and uneventful day of typing Castiel walked back to the hotel by himself since Dean told him not to wait for him. It had been exactly two weeks and three days since they first arrived by flight. Everything had been going well as their time went by and their favorite part of the day was after work when they would take a walk and do whatever they passed that seemed like a good way to spend time together. At the end of the day they would go to the concierge lounge for dessert and then stay up a while to catch a show on television and chat before turning out the lights.

The sky that could be seen from the tall buildings surrounding him was shaded with inky blots of purples and pinks as the sun began to set. He was surprised he could hear the cicadas' loud chirping at this part of the downtown Denver. A woman that ran past bumped into him and a passing dog barked. Castiel cautiously walked around the growling animal. He most certainly wasn't used to city life even after two weeks. Everything was loud and busy. He could hardly imagine what Manhattan was like.

Castiel, when he arrived back to the room, pulled up a padded chair to the window and opened the curtains to reveal the city scene below and sat down with a book. This pleased him because now he could experience the essences of a city in the quiet of his hotel room.

* * *

Hours had passed and Dean was still gone. Castiel reasoned that it would be silly to worry but he couldn't help but wonder. Dean was probably taking a walk or looking around so he shouldn't even be thinking about it. Castiel now reverted to lying on his bed and flipping through channels on the rather large TV. It had been a while since Castiel watched a show on television, other than the ones Dean chose for them, and he was completely confused at the selection. From the reality shows to the children's shows, it was all so bizarre to him. A short time after he gave up and turned it off he heard the door open and sighed in relief.

"How was your night?" Castiel propped his head up with a fist to look at Dean. He frowned. Dean's clothes were considerably disheveled and he was swaying lightly. "Are you drunk?" Dean collapsed on Castiel's bed in a giggling fit causing Castiel to sit up and stare at him in concern.

Dean got to his feet once more and looked down at Castiel. "You know what we should do?" Castiel didn't reply. Dean laughed and grabbed Castiel's nose to shake it, shaking his whole head in the process. "We stay up all night. Right? Then when we go in tomorrow we'll fall asleep and get fired so we can do this again."

"Have you considered sleeping off your condition?"

Dean's expression and voice tone got very serious. "First you have to tell me a bed time story."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't go to sleep without a bed time story."

"Dean-" His sentence was cut short after Dean decided to lay on top of him making him freeze up. Dean placed his chin on Castiel's shoulder and stayed quiet for a long time making Castiel believe he fell asleep. It was so sudden. Castiel could barely register what had lead to this. But isn't this what he'd always wanted, getting closer to Dean? It was fine in the literal sense as well. In truth, Castiel didn't know what to think or do. He remained calm and still like a good friend would. It will soon pass, he thought.

Dean lifted his head to look at Castiel who purposely diverted his gaze elsewhere as he was feeling uncomfortable. Dean grabbed Castiel's jaw and squished his lips. Castiel's eyebrows knitted together in distress.

"You have nice features…fishy features…" Dean whispered as he continued to squish his lips into a fishy look. Castiel tried to say something but his words came out like gibberish. Dean let go and began to ruffle his hair. Castiel half heartedly attempted to swat his hands away but Dean continued to play with his hair and face. He was intensively surprised that he didn't know if he wanted to push Dean off of him or not. Dean was having fun and Castiel liked the extra heat that was upon him even if that extra heat was currently tugging on his ears and pulling his cheeks. But he was caught completely off guard when Dean forcibly pressed his lips against his own in a clumsy fashion. Almost right away he tensed and his arms jerked up due to reflexes. As Dean's kisses became more relentless Castiel couldn't help but grip him tight by wrapping his hands around his back and kiss back with as much force. His mind was blank with nothing but the motivation to kiss and be kissed. They paused to catch their breath and stare at each other. Dean broke the moment by tugging the chain to the lamp that sat on the bedside table causing a sheet of black to fall upon the room. They found each other despite the pitch darkness and breathed harshly through their noses as they continued where they left off. Castiel felt he needed to get his senses back soon but at the moment his brain felt comfortably numb and he decided he liked that state much better. Castiel was especially enthusiastic about the moment as he was unbuttoning Dean's shirt and running his hands all over his torso.

His suppressed feelings were finally making sense, all this caged heat he had been feeling was almost unbearable. He definitely needed this, he was in no hurry to stop the escalating process of liberation from some sort of mental barrier he had kept. And because of his desperation he didn't care that Dean tasted of hard liquor. Castiel supposed kissing was like his early morning coffee in the way that they continued to make more of an effort to please every time their lips crashed and their tongues met. He gasped when he felt Dean rub his hard groin against his own for the first time. They both unzipped and unbuttoned their pants clumsily for better access to the spot that made them both go wild. Castiel felt overwhelmed as Dean continued to do so fast enough to make the bed creak and the headboard bump against the wall. He'd never done this with another man before but the experience was rather enlightening and the heat between the two arousing. Dean broke their kissing session to let out a shaky breath and Castiel couldn't help but make strangled noises each time Dean enhanced the delicious friction.

Dean pulled away once more making a popping noise. Castiel felt no movement in Dean making him freeze as well; they were both completely still. The only sound in the room now was heavy breathing. The movement of clothes, sheets, and the bed could no longer be heard. In the midst of the foggy lust that held Castiel's brain he had short, panicky thoughts. Is Dean not drunk anymore and is he having second thoughts? Is he disgusted? Castiel felt the warmth that was Dean be replaced with a chilly, lonely air that made him have the worst sort of disappointment drop down in his stomach. He heard Dean trip over something and the running of footsteps to the bathroom. The light in the bathroom turned on, blinding Castiel for only a moment, before he placed what was happening. As Dean knelt before the toilet and as he made retched gagging noises Castiel rushed to his side, swaying only slightly when he got up due to the state the previous exchange left him in. Dean's body convulsed as he vomited in the toilet. Castiel felt confused at the sudden turn of events and because of his non existing experience with vomiting people. In movies he always saw how one would lift the other's hair out of his or her face for easy accessibility, but Dean's hair was very short so that was certainly out of the question. He decided to simply express his sympathy by placing a hand on his back and whispering words of encouragement.

Castiel caught his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but stare. His clothes were as disheveled as Dean's were when he arrived from his night out. His white button up shirt was completely ripped open and one side of the collar lazily stood up. His lips were red and swollen as if plush petals because of their previous rough kissing. Another vomiting episode struck Dean snapping Castiel back to his side.

It suddenly struck him that his wife hadn't occurred to him until now. If only she could have seen him in the arms of Dean. Seen how full of pleasure he was and how easily he could've taken it further. He found his thoughts rather strange and heartless until he reminded himself of an unchangeable fact; their marriage had ended the first time she did the same.


	15. Chapter 15 Unshared Thoughts

Castiel woke to the sound of Dean voice. His tone was both clear and rough as he spoke into the phone, yet he couldn't understand a word he was saying. He was probably talking to Sam since the two usually talked over the phone before going to sleep or after waking up. Castiel quietly watched from his bed as Dean sat in a chair overlooking the scenery from the window. Unnoticed, he slipped out of bed.

"How do you feel?" He asked cautiously once Dean said goodbye and hung up.

Dean rubbed at his temple. "I got a massive hangover."

Castiel scrutinized his face. He wasn't expecting a conversation like this after what had happened but then again he didn't know what to expect either. There was also a chance Dean didn't even remember.

"Did you take something for it?" Dean only nodded in response.

This was their last day but that wasn't necessarily a good thing for the two. Going back meant facing home and shaking off the accustomed routine they gained since they arrived. Their flight left at 6 p.m. so they meant going straight to the airport by taxi after work.

Castiel felt a growing worry and suspicion of Dean for his lack of responses and shaky glances. It wasn't until Dean gave him such a surprised look when he thought he wasn't looking Castiel knew he remembered making him mentally curse at the situation. The remainder of the day consisted of awkward silences and a wide space between the two. The closest they got was in the taxi when it began to rain leaving them wishing they brought an umbrella.

They watched beyond the collecting droplets as their hotel became a small brick in the distance both thinking, m_y God what have I done?_


	16. Chapter 16 Urges

"Allow me to break the silence." Castiel said as they drove home in Dean's impala from the airport. Dean cocked his eyebrow at him. "I know what you're thinking."

"Look, Cas." Dean felt partially nervous under Castiel's hard stare. "First of all, quit staring at me like that. Second of all, I know what you're talking about but can we just forget about it?"

"I'm confused as to why you would even think about getting that drunk on a business trip."

"Yeah? Well I'm confused at the fact that you…let things happen." Neither spoke for a while. The radio softly played in the background but the atmosphere screamed of tension and they both needed to get something off their chest.

"I have a favor to ask."

"Continue life and forget about what happened? I can do that."

"No. I'm asking to stay the night. I was unprepared for the flight delay so I have no where else to go this late."

"Can't you go home to your _wife_?"

Castiel ignored the way he stressed the word wife. "She works late into the night on weekends and I don't have the key with me." Dean sighed. He fought against all instincts to say hell no when he felt the familiar urge to have a few drinks. At least Castiel could prevent that.

"Fine."

* * *

"You can sleep here." Dean said as he threw a couple blankets and pillows on a couch in the living room.

"I very much appreciate this, thank you."

"Alright, well goodnight." Dean turned to walk down the hallway to his room.

"Goodnight." Castiel wasn't sure if he had heard him or not but decided against calling out again. He fluffed his pillows and situated himself on the couch to pull a blanket up to his face. After a few thoughts about the day he soon drifted away.

Not long after, he felt himself being shaken awake.

"Hey." Dean's voice cracked causing him to clear his throat. "Do you want to watch TV or something?" Castiel sat up on the couch looking confused. He pushed away the thought that perhaps he was having a dream.

"Why do you ask at a time like this?" Dean shrugged and cracked a stupid smile as if he was joking. A loud boom of thunder wiped the smile off his face right away. Castiel felt this situation would be humorous if he was more like Dean, in fact, he would even laugh.

He frowned. "Thunder and turbulence can be so much alike if you just look-"

"Fuck Cas. I don't need your weird 'consoling speeches'" Dean made exaggerated quotation marks and jumped as another clap of thunder proceeded. "Fuck me."

"We can watch television."

"No, forget about it."

"What w-"

"Just go back to sleep." Instead of jumping at another sudden crash of thunder Dean went rigid and tried to calm himself by shutting his eyes and breathing through his nose. Castiel began to feel concerned but just as he was about to say something Dean went back to his room and shut the door. Castiel followed with his blankets and pillows at his side and opened the door gingerly. He peeked only his head inside the room just incase he would be yelled at for intruding before allowing himself to close the door and drop his things. Dean sat up on his bed looking very much shaken and gave Castiel the same questioning look he'd been using on him for a while. Castiel caught his gaze and froze fearing he was about to be kicked out.

"Let me at least help you with your issue." Dean didn't reply for a while and was reminded that of course Castiel would want to help.

"Whatever." Dean mumbled and crashed back down on his pillows. He found sleep despite the continuous roars of thunder and would never admit that Castiel's company soothed him.

Castiel, on the other hand, closed his eyes but never felt the wave of exhaustion one would get right before falling asleep. Instead he rolled on his back and found sanctuary inside his thoughts which proved useless because his thoughts soon turned to memories of the other night when he was in Dean's arms. The memory seemed to call to him making him thirst for more.

After hearing another thunderclap that caused Dean to mumble in his sleep Castiel couldn't help but linger on a strange idea that abruptly popped into his head. He continued to mentally hold onto it for comfort for the possibility of satisfying his desire but he soon rebelled against it. Although that didn't stop him from acting upon it. He rose from the floor as the blanket that was around him fell lightly from his body and stood beside where Dean slept. He gently glided his fingertips across Dean's face causing him to stop mumbling almost right away. He shamelessly drank in the image of Dean's face and inadvertently leaned closer only to jump back when Dean adjusted his body. Dean's face was very pleasant to look at and he couldn't help but linger. If he were back to his senses, perhaps in a different place away from Dean, he would find a moment like this very bizarre and taboo and frown upon himself for letting his urges get the better of him. A small part of his brain told him that this was definitely out of both their comfort zones. Ignoring this small voice he felt a wave of sleepiness and pressed a palm in the mattress to experiment if Dean was a light sleeper or not. He didn't wake or even budge so Castiel, inch by inch in fear of breaking the thin sheet of ice that was Dean's consciousness, carefully lifted the blanket to slip his own body beside Dean's. His mind was as numb as it was last night making the moment extremely surreal. Castiel allowed himself to look at Dean's sleeping face again, counting the strings of moonlight from the blinds that were draped across his face. He soon closed his eyes and fell asleep against his will. He was only planning on laying beside him for a few moments.

* * *

**Hello~ So I got a comment the other day about the previous chapter because it's short. I found it appropriate at the time but now that I look back it is a bit short for my tastes. So I apologize if that bothered you. Oh and I actually have readers? When I first uploaded this I thought I wouldn't have any readers or reviews. I thought this story would be lost in this website since I'm new and this is my very first fanfiction. But I guess not so I want to give you a deepest thank you from my heart. You all have my gratitude, thank you. Please Please Please review if you like this story or not. It helps me write things faster and urges me to go on and helps me fix things. I have a feeling a lot will go down for Dean and Cas. Expect more of Sam in later chapters. Also happy Fourth of July (oops I'm late on uploading so it's the eighth)! And to any readers who don't celebrate, have a good rest of the day ;***


	17. Chapter 17 Personal Edge

Castiel, after waking, blinked a few times before his eyes adjusted to the dark room lit only by moonlight. He heard the soft pitter patter of the rain and decided that was an enjoyable, soothing noise to fall back asleep to but once he closed his eyes he remembered that he was sleeping in Dean's bed. Letting the reality of the situation soak into his brain his eyes opened and he contemplated getting back to his makeshift bed before Dean found out. He felt a movement on his back and just realized he turned his back towards Dean while he was sleeping, perhaps in a nervous act even during sleep. Castiel reached behind his back to see what part of Dean that was and found it was his hand. Being in the half asleep state he was still in he took Dean's arm and placed it over his torso. His nerves in the area tingled in delight at the touch and he closed his eyes in attempt to sleep again. Dean moved his arm away in his sleep but Castiel soon repeated the action. It took a few short moments before Castiel felt Dean shift in the bed, a shift that felt different than one caused by a deep slumber but one that reminded him of idle life. He soon stopped breathing causing a hitch in his breath and his body went tense and stiff when Dean slid his arm off his body, obviously awake now. He sat up as quickly as possible after seeing another body in his bed and Castiel did the same, facing him and placing both hands on Dean's shoulders as if holding him in place. Castiel was inwardly panicking even though his outside look was placid as usual, he felt as if his very touch disturbed Dean but he held his ground and didn't budge. He wasn't sure as to why, though the only reason he could think about was proving a point. Dean swallowed and stared at Castiel as if he had just seen a ghost. The same curtain of suspense and eeriness fell upon the room as the atmosphere from the Inevitable Moment, the light hung on them in lines from the blinds giving a theatrical effect. Their eyes locked into a long, fixed stare and Castiel dwelled on the thought that this was the one of the most exhilarating moments of his life. How daring and thoughtless could he be?

Castiel began to shake as he leaned closer and stopped, experimenting and prudent. Their heavy, surprised breathes met and Dean attempted to get away but found that he couldn't move at all.

"Cas…" He managed to say through all the haze and confusion of the moment. Castiel swiftly closed the space between the two and kissed his unmoving lips slowly and delicately, fearing every moment of it. Dean didn't object so Castiel slowly moved his hands to the back of his head for better access. He was about to break away and apologize for his actions but Dean's completely tense body suddenly relaxed and he pulled Castiel closer into a full embrace.

Thankfully, there was no more thunder but in its place the soft tapping of rain filled their ears as well as the quiet noises of their kissing. Castiel's mouth felt like butter as he gave Dean's muscular shoulders a squeeze, letting his fingers travel a little further past his shoulders.

"I'm not gay." Dean said in-between kisses. Castiel shushed him by kissing him harder and pushing him off the bed and onto his back, earning a shocked grunt from Dean. Castiel pulled away partially to look at Dean's expression and partially because he was taken by surprise when they fell off the bed. He found that Dean was smiling which also shocked him.

"Was this your plan all along?" He chuckled darkly, almost accusingly.

"This isn't funny." Castiel frowned and his face spoke slightly of hurt.

"Well…I had it coming for me." Dean said quietly like he was giving up.

It seemed to Castiel like Dean said this as if asking him to continue. He stared at him in shock and, since he didn't catch the different edge to his voice, he let out a ragged breath and continued. He needed to prove to Dean that he could give him pleasure and that they didn't waste their time together.

His fingers shook as he traced them down Dean's chest and stomach, stopping at the bottom of his shirt. Dean jumped in surprise at the touch since he wasn't expecting Castiel to continue any further, he expected him to flush in embarrassment and rush out of his home. This thought made him feel strangely unhappy and that made him question himself. Dean ignored the feelings and forgot about them. Castiel pulled Dean's shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. Even though he had seen the man's torso a few times before he was still captivated by the awe inspiring masculinity of it. He was reminded for a few moments of a roman statue in an art museum he had visited as a child.

Castiel leaned down to kiss Dean some more but Dean moved his head to the side in order to dodge the tender contact, staring blankly at nothing, smile long gone, now holding a far more serious look. Feeling rejected and let down he instead directed his mouth to his neck to gently suck and flitted small kisses across his collar bone. He tried as hard as he could to stop his fingers from shaking as he explored Dean's chest but that was physically impossible and they continued to gently shake as he let them hesitantly travel, throwing a few shadows here and there on his perfectly smooth skin. Regardless of the awkward shaking, he felt Dean grow hard, surprising both of them. Castiel thought he caught a hint of intimidation and shock flash in Dean's eyes but it soon passed and Dean regained his blank, uncaring look. Dean shifted slightly under the weight of Castiel and they both felt their hard groins rub against another creating a sudden shock of awareness ripple throughout their bodies although their expressions never left their faces.

Castiel felt that there was no turning back at what he just started and felt that he was completely at fault. And his fault didn't even start when he decided to sleep beside Dean. It all started with him lusting and finally falling for this man. He stopped himself when he thought about 'falling'. That wasn't a good word for this grey relationship they possessed. It was more on the lines of sharing a intimate 'emotional connection' or feeling a close 'bond' with Dean. They would've both been very happy with being good buddies at work if he had just restrained himself. Although, Dean did first put the moves on him even if he was drunk. Which lead him to think that somewhere in Dean's head he had at least considered a relationship. He couldn't have been drunk enough to not be fully aware of his actions. And now here he was, under Castiel and appearing to be enjoying must have some feelings of romantic nature if not just lust. Castiel inwardly screamed at his internal frustrations. It was like trying to solve a puzzle just out of reach from his mental abilities.

He took a few deep breaths to regain himself from his thoughts and slowly crawled down his body, feeling Dean's ribs and running his hands down the slight curve of his sides as he did so. He timidly palmed Dean's erection when he came face to face with it and Dean just barely grazed his hips against him without meaning to for more of the pleasant touch. Castiel felt the pit of his stomach drop in nervousness and arousal when he realized he was going to suck a dick for the first time, making his palms sweat and his heart race. He tried not to think about the later formidable effects of continuing. He cleared his brain of the future and frustrating puzzles as he was being engulfed in the heat of the moment and couldn't seem to be able to get out even if he so wished. He gently tugged at his pants while looking at Dean, giving him one last chance to back out if he wanted. Dean didn't seem to budge so Castiel pulled Dean's pants and boxers down just above the knees causing his member to pop out from underneath and protrude in full view of Castiel. He let his hands come to rest at Dean's hip bones as he quickly thought ahead of what he would do, remembering what his wife had done before solely for this occasion. He licked his lips and then slowly filled his mouth with Dean, hearing a faint and surprised gasp while doing so. He twirled his tongue around the head of his erection and gripped on his hips harder as he bobbed his head up and down.

Dean suddenly felt as if he was in a dream-like state while he watched Castiel's head go up and down. This was his best friend from work, not one of his lovers. He tried to suppress a moan from escaping but failed when Castiel did something that felt perfect with his tongue. They made eye contact for a few seconds until Castiel's eyes flitted away in embarrassment. Dean never looked away, he was secretly extremely turned on by the other man's embarrassment and determination.

Dean lost all control for his expressions as he came closer to ejaculating. When he was finally brought to the edge by that deliciously hot mouth, he arched his back and let go with a moan. As Castiel removed his mouth with a pop and gave a hard swallow, Dean felt bad he didn't warn him. Castiel's face resembled the same one he pulled when he tried a bitter tea for the first time.

Castiel wasn't prepared for cum to suddenly intrude in his mouth. He wiped his lips with the back of his arm and turned his gaze toward Dean who was now sitting up with his pants pulled up. He wasn't expecting the empty feeling that seemed to fill his entire body. He sat beside Dean and no one spoke for some awkward seconds. He didn't understand why he felt so horrible. He thought another sexual encounter with Dean where both parties were sober would be mind blowing. But it wasn't. Not at all.

Dean began feeling agitated at the silence and thought that Castiel wanted some reward that Dean would definitely not want to give; like a kiss or a proposal to be his boyfriend.

"What, you want a card? 'Thanks for the oral'?"

Castiel felt hurt by that but he chose to ignore it. "I feel horrible."

Dean softened a bit in expression. "I'll drive you home."

* * *

**I apologize for the long wait but for my excuses I was in Alaska during the summer and barely wrote there, and when I came home I had a major writer's block. Plus I fixed some later chapters and have been busy with school ;***

**Please review my poorly written sexual bit~**


	18. Chapter 18 Forlorn Love

A little while after he arrived home, Castiel was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast with his wife. He was _actually_ eating a meal with her. Forks made small metallic noises that seemed very loud in the quiet room as they hit plates. Castiel wasn't aware of this as he was remembering what incongruous acts he had been doing a few hours ago. He wanted those thoughts to be destroyed or forgotten but no matter what he tried they always seemed to surface in his day dreaming as he ate his yellow and white scrambled eggs. At first he felt a tinge of guilt and embarrassment at the whole situation. His emotions changed like seasons ever since and he couldn't exactly wrap his head around them. Every other emotion was soon destroyed as he began looking further into the situation. In their place, anger brewed and escalated as the metallic noise continued to get louder and faster by the minute. His wife stopped to watch her husband stab the yellow clouds upon his plate and eat them in a violent manner.

Castiel wanted-no, needed to find Dean and give him what he was good for. This was too much for him. All these mixed signals, the sudden angry outbursts. The rejections and irritable behavior from Dean as Castiel tried to calm himself after their worthless and unromantic fumbling.

Castiel couldn't deal with this anger right now. It was as if Dean was always horrible but Castiel's inappropriate feelings created a delusion or fantasy where Dean was actually wearing a kind, warm mask. He had looked at him as a true Roman god but now, in his anger, he was just an untrustworthy shadow lurking around the main focuses of his mind.

"Castiel…" His wife started to get concerned but he didn't hear her. He was too busy boiling to the brim and resenting Dean. Dean could get hit by a bus for all he cared. He was sick and tired of doing things for people and getting nothing but shit in return. An angry thought about his wife and her affair tried to fill his thoughts of nothing but the worst example of getting shit in return. He quickly submerged it behind it's dam again; he was good at suppressing those feelings.

"Castiel." Her voice wasn't helping and he began to feel an up coming anger again. She placed a hand on his and he dropped the fork and shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"How did your project in Denver go?" She asked slowly, cautiously.

His anger slowly drained like that of a switch from a machine being turned off with the buzzing left overs barely audible. "It was fine." He purposely diverted his gaze from her brown, concerned eyes. He was getting extremely uncomfortable at her sudden sympathetic kindness and he felt as if the room around them stopped with nothing but them moving and functioning. Usually she would just nod a greeting and give him a stiff hug when her presence was known but today she was acting like a human being, his wife, and that made him feel troublesome. She scooted her chair closer and continued to wait for an explanation.

"You can tell me anything you know." She gave him another sweet smile, the small wrinkles at the corner of her eyes barely visible. Castiel shifted and cleared his throat.

"I'm just having issues with a friend from work. It's nothing to be concerned about."

"Aw." She said as if he was the loneliest person on Earth. She placed a slender hand on his cheek and Castiel went rigid. He almost gasped in surprise when she gave him a long, smooth kiss.

"You're…" He stupidly looked for the right word after a long pause. "very…affectionate today."

She laughed silvery bells. "Well, of course." She cupped her hands around her face as if feeling the shape of it. We should watch a movie."

A movie with his wife didn't sound too bad. The two would be able to pretend that they were a functioning family with all the correct cogs to continue such as watching movies together during free time and being able to calm each other when they were angry at eggs.

"What do you suggest?"

She paused to ponder. "How about Heathers? I'm in the mood for something funny."

Castiel only nodded. That movie was hardly funny to him. It was odd and had almost disturbed him the first time he saw it. He wasn't even aware they owned that film. He joined her on the couch anyway.

It was nice to focus on something other than Dean for once. He felt a sort of tingle on his arm when she moved closer and rested her head on it. He was able to watch her out of his peripheral vision during some of the film out of curiosity. Her eyes would flutter and her cheekbones lifted when she found something to be humorous. Her laugh was animated and she regularly looked back to see his expression, which was not much to see since he was vaguely feeling anything that was particularly worthy of expression. He did feel a small thread of affection travel through him when he remembered that this was his wife. That he married this woman and that she married him. That they once shared vows with trembling voices and locked eyes with their families behind them, both groups unmoving and quiet. The affection was dull though and he sensed right away that it could easily be broken. Just acknowledging that it was weak made it even more so and the feelings disappeared almost altogether. Her secret affair was barely a whisper in his mind at this point. He'd rather not think about it. Castiel played with the curls of her dark brown hair to try and get a feeling of romantic, positive emotion he used to get when they were in love. He only felt pity from the loss and he frowned at this.

She stretched and snaked her arm around his, sighing in vague content. Castiel felt utterly confused at her transformation. What happened to the dull girl he knew for a while? She was acting like the woman he married who smiled upon him on their wedding day with the sunset on her back and his reflection in her eyes. Even this woman seemed like no less of a stranger than the dull girl. There was once a time where they acted like a normal couple in love. Castiel, try as he might, couldn't pinpoint exactly when they began falling apart. He didn't even know what lead to the relationship on the side. Castiel leaned in to kiss her, experimentally. She returned the kiss and suddenly they were bumping together like moths to a light, desperate for that old feeling. She straddled his hips after a few more kisses and ran her fingers through his hair. The kissing seemed to lead no where as nice as it was to dwell on the past.

The open window beside them sent in a small wind that chilled their skin and gently lifted their hair creating a small sense of freedom. As soon as he felt her hair lift from his shoulders his brain struggled and quickly remembered sensations from the earlier intimacy with Dean. Castiel didn't fight this as he felt strong arms hold him against the couch and kiss him with firm lips. Dean's lips. He felt Dean on him now, kissing urgently and passionately and Castiel couldn't help but return the favor. He quickly came to his senses when he felt a small state of panic begin to develop in his brain in place of the intense passion that surfaced when he thought of Dean. No, he couldn't be his fantasy. Castiel felt the slender waist of his wife and traveled down to her wide hips to remind himself of the femininity that he was kissing. Her lips were smooth and soft, unlike Dean's. They were fierce, yet plush at the same time. And they were as fierce now as last time he was able to feel them with his own. Dean was entering his tongue and making Castiel feel good in all the right places as the forgotten movie continued playing. He was everything Castiel wanted in a man ever since he was a teenager. All the sleepless nights of wondering and thinking about how good another man's chest would feel like during some rushed moment. That same tender curiosity fell on Dean.

Castiel abruptly but gently pushed her back when he realized he was fantasizing again and kissing a bit too hard. They gazed at each other with unspeaking faces, yet they could tell the other was reflecting the same sad eyes. Even if this moment was short lived, they caught short flashes of things in their eyes that they never found before. Even no emotions hinted to show how somber and pathetic their attempt at rekindling their love was. He knew now she was no longer the woman that he had once desired, but forever the girl leading an arcane life from all of her family. They continued nonetheless


End file.
